Posted by: michelle2005 | February 16, 2009

“Dogs and Cats”

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The above photo is my dog and my hubby.  She wedges herself between his pillows.  I have no clue why she does this since she cannot get out by herself.  I have to pull her out by her front paws.

 

The below post I’d received as an email.  I trust it gives you the huge laugh it did us when we read it.

 

The following was found posted very low on a refrigerator door.


Dear Dogs and Cats:

 

 

The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food.  The other dishes are mine and contain my food.

 


Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Racing me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me does not help because I fall faster than you can run.

 

 

 

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king-sized bed.  I am very sorry about this.  Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort.  However, dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep.  It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible.  I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm!

 

dog-praying

For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom!  If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, and try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the
same door I entered.   In addition, I have been using the bathroom for years – canine/feline attention and not required. The proper order for kissing is:  Kiss me first, and then go smell the other dog or cat’s fanny.  I cannot stress this enough!

 

betsy-and-babe-abby-large-photo

 

Finally, in fairness, dear pets, I have posted this message on our front door…

 

 

TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS:

 

 

  • They live here, you do not.

 

  • If you don’t want their hair on your clothing, stay off the furniture.  That’s why it’s called “fur”niture.

 

  • I like my pets better than most people.

 

  • To you they are animals.  To me they are adopted sons/daughters who are short, hairy and walk on all fours and don’t speak too clearly.

 

 

Remember that some think dogs and cats are easier to care for than children are because they:

 

 

  • They eat less

 

  • Don’t ask for money

 

  • Are easier to train

 

  • Normally come when called

 

  • Never ask to drive the car

 

  • Don’t hang out with drug using people

 

  • Don’t smoke or drink

 

  • Don’t want to wear your clothing

 

  • Don’t have to buy the latest fashion

 

  • Don’t need a gazillion dollars for college

 

  • And if they get pregnant you can sell their children

 

 

dalmation-puppies1

 

I don’t remember who it was that emailed this to me.  Yet, I laughed out loud upon reading it.  I trust it gives you a good laugh, too!

 

Michelle

 

 

 

 

 

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Responses

  1. Dog Training Help…


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