Posted by: michelle2005 | February 5, 2009

“A Broken Heart…An Attempted Suicide”


Sound asleep…suddenly the phone rang.  Who would be calling this late?  My first thought was that it was from one of my colleague overseas.  Barely awake, I answer the phone to hear the voice of panic in the caller.  It was my younger brother.  Before he had the chance to tell me the reason for his call…my heart began to race and I felt beads of perspiration upon my forehead.   


He had been trying to contact my other brother, and when he couldn’t he drove over to his home.   He found my brother on the floor.  He was immediately transported to the emergency room of the local hospital.  It was discovered that he had ingested a poison…48 hours earlier.  Due to the length of time the poison was in his system…major damage had occurred to his organs, especially his kidneys.  He was so broken hearted over a series of major events; over a protracted period of time…he tried to take his life.


The information I was being told seemed not to “sink in”.  I had to keep asking him to repeat what he was saying.  This, of course, caused him further stress…and he began to cry. I was the first one he called…yet, the one that lived hundreds of miles away.  I am the oldest of six…and was again the “big sister”.  I had not heard my brother cry since our family pet had died when he was only seven years old.


By the time he called me…many hours had passed.  He was still at the hospital.  He let me know they were getting ready to move my brother from the emergency department to the Intensive Care Unit


It was difficult to take in all that I was being told.  Maybe I’m having a nightmare…maybe it’s a cruel joke.  No, this isn’t real.  How could this be real…I love my family… both my brothers have always been protector’s of their sisters.  There are six siblings in my family…four girls and two boys.  I am the first born.


He let me know that he hadn’t even called our Mother.  This was not a task he was willing to do.  My Mother also lives hundreds of miles away…in the complete opposite direction.  My Father passed away many years ago…and my Mother lives alone.  Again…I’m the “big sister”.  He asked me, “Will you call Mom and let her know?”  Of course…yet, before I called her I cried and fell into the arms of my husband.  We prayed…and then I made the call.


Other than family, I let two people know.  The first call I made was to my friend in Tennessee.  PRAYER…I need to ask for prayer for my brother.  I am profoundly grateful that my friend was in the office today.  He most likely will be reading this post.  I have found that the Lord has His people in strategic places…His remnant everywhere.


Most of you that have been following this site know I have significant health issues.   This prevents me from traveling to be with my brother.  Yet, I know there is no distance in the Lord.  I also know that the prayers of His people can move mountains.  I’m asking for prayer for my brother…that this mountain be removed.







  1. Michelle,

    Only recently did I find your blog. Reading so many of your posts lets me see your heart for others. This post caused me to cry as I can understand this pain. My cousin tired to commit suicide last year. Our family is convinced that it was only the Lord that sustained her and her unborn daughter.

    The Lord is no respecter of persons. The things He does for one, He will do for another. Let your heart be comforted in knowing the Lord’s hand is upon your brother. Please keep us updated how he is progressing.

  2. Thank You, for having the courage and honesty to bring such a critical subject to light. Too often people are shamed into hiding their pain until it is too late. Too often family members and friends tell those with depression to “feel better or snap out of it.”
    They can not understand that even on the days when most feel happy, depression and despair can tear a life apart. Too often those with depression feel that there is nowhere left to turn. It is so important to have a support system. For your brother, you Michelle are a very important support.

    I would like to also point out the those who need support and those who provide support are not alone, the National Alliance for Mental Illness NAMI.ORG has a website with much information for individuals, parents, family and, friends of those who need our help.

    Again I can not thank you enough for this wonderful post.

  3. I hope and pray that the road be made lighter.

  4. Michelle,

    I was so saddened when I saw this post. I am so sorry. My husband and I had something very similar happen last year and we are all still trying to come to grips with it. So many questions unanswered. Wondering what we could have done to help.

    My thoughts and prayers to your brother, yourself and your family.

  5. I have been through this with one of my daughters. She has lived through some horrible trauma and still deals with the after effects. It is truly devastating and heartbreaking. The person who attempts suicide is just in so much pain at that moment that they cannot think straight. They just want the pain to stop. I pray that your brother will get the help he needs and never try this again.

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