Posted by: michelle2005 | January 9, 2009

“NFL Infractions”…or Dogs Behaving Badly!

Those of you who have been following this blog know I’ve done several posts regarding our little Sheltie…Jenny.  I’ve also done posts about pet training.  There have been many outlining Jenny’s antics.  This has brought me an enormous amout of email.  However, I thought I’d write a post from a bit of a different slant.  I’m going to use NFL Infractions to better describe her behavior.  I trust it will give you a good laugh!  Dog infractions will be in bold font.

 jenny-cleopatra-resized1

 

DELAY OF GAME
OR
 EXCESS TIME OUT

delay-of-game

This penalty can be called on either offense or defense, but the foul is most commonly committed by the offense. The penalty occurs on offense when they allow the play clock to run down to zero without snapping the ball. The penalty can be called on the defense if the referees feel that the defense did not allow the offense to get the play off in time for any reason. A similar foul is delay on kickoff.

penalty: 5 yards

 

Whines urgently to go outside pretending she needs to go “potty”…    instead explores the entire yard…looking for squirrels or birds.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
  

False Start

 false-start1

A false start occurs when an offensive player moves before the ball is snapped. This penalty is not called if a player is in motion, but that player must either be moving parallel to the line of scrimmage ( a receiver in motion ) or set before the snap to not be in violation. Motion is a common tool used by coaches to try to free up a receiver, or confuse a defense and is simply a player changing their position on the field before the snap. Only receivers, running backs, and the quarterback may be in motion.

Runs outside when door opens…anticipating a car ride that will not be happening.

Anticipating a “treat” and rolls over before one is even in sight.

=========

HOLDING

holding-nfl-infraction

No offensive Player is allowed to hold a defensive player as a way to impede tackle  Offensive lineman, backs and recievers can not grab hold of a defensive player.

No defensive player is allowed to hold or push an offensive receiver or back on a passing play past the initial five yard chuck-zone. The first five yards past the line of scrimmage, the defense may jam, hold up, the receiver to keep them from getting by, but after that a penalty is awarded to the offense. Special Notes: Automatic first down awarded to offense.

Jumping on chest…from floor position…not allowing me to get up.

Biting my hair…

Grabbing me with her “arms” (paws) when she is playing to prevent me from tossing the toy to her Daddy.

==========

ILLEGAL CONTACT

illegal-contact-nfl

ILLEGAL CONTACT  is when a player makes significant contact with a receiver after the receiver has advanced five yards beyond the line of scrimmage, This rule was adopted in 1978, and its enactment is regarded as contributing to the dramatic increase in both passing yardage and scoring the NFL has witnessed since that time.
==========
Grabbing pizza or bagels out of someone’s hand
Jumping up into the arms of an unsuspecting neighbor
Pulling and straining to move Daddy’s bathrobe down the hallway.
Moving Daddy’s shoes and slippers.   Stashing her food in Daddy’s shoes.  She will hide her toys in his briefcase and will also toss a few toys into his tub.
==========
 
 
 ILLEGAL MOTION AT SNAP

   illegal-motion-at-snap2

 

 

ILLEGAL MOTION: (ILLEGAL MOTION: (Penalty against the offense) An illegal movement where two offensive players are in motion at the same time when the ball is snapped.

 

 

 

 Referee signal: One arm in front of chest, palm open and down, with the elbow out to the side, moved away from chest.

Illegal motion results in a five yard penalty against the offending team.enalty against the offense) An illegal movement where two offensive players are in motion at the same time when the ball is snapped.

Running after squirrels and birds

Running out the door as soon as it opens

In anticipation of a ball being tossed…she will begin running in the direction she “thinks” it will be thrown

==========

 Personal Foul    

 

personal-foul

PERSONAL FOUL:   A flagrant illegal act that is generally deemed to unnecessarily risk the health of other players.

Personal fouls include, but are not limited to late hits, unnecessary roughness, and blows to the head. A personal foul results in a 15-yard penalty against the offending team.

 

Twice she has torn through all five layers of my cornea’s.  This was at two different times and included both eyes.  I wrote a post regarding this issue.  The title is…”The Dog Did It!”  This is a true story. https://michelle2005.wordpress.com/2008/11/28/the-dog-did-it/

 ==========

Tripping

tripping-nfl-infraction

 TRIPPING (Penalty against the offense) (10 yards) –  a player trips a defender near the ankles. Referee signal: one foot kicks the ankle of the other leg from behind
==========
Jumping off the bed in front of me…causing me to fall and hit my head on the dresser.  Result: concussion

Leaving toys in hallway…result was both hubby and I have tripped numerous times over her stuff

Grabbing at my ankles when I’m walk away from her

 

 

=========

UNSPORTSMANLIKE CONDUCT

unsportsmanlike-conduct

 

UNSPORTSMANLIKE CONDUCT:  Any act contrary to the generally understood principles of sportsmanship. A dead-ball foul in which a player, in the judgement of the officials, taunts or otherwise acts in an unsportsmanlike manner

Unsportsmanlike conduct is a personal foul and results in a 15-yard penalty against the offending team.
==========
Jumping on table to grab cookies…she has stolen a sausage and bun…and then took it under the table to eat stolen goods.
===  She’s also removed Gingerbread Man from open briefcase…
===Throwing her toys into an empty dry bathtub…and then jumping in with them to take a nap…and not letting anyone know where she is (causing unnecessary worry)  

Growling, showing me her teeth whenever I get close to my husband

 Pulling on her old aunt’s (full sized collie) upper lip

Hanging from the fur of her Aunt Abby (full size Collie) chest…Jenny weighed about 3 lbs at the time.

 

Aunt Betsy (a collie puppy) jumped into the tub when Momma was bathing (huge oval Jacuzzi)  and swam across to the other side.

Aunt Betsy (a collie puppy) attempted to jump over a recliner, resulting in her back legs catching the top of the chair knocking it over, breaking an antique figurine.

 

OFFSIDE, 
ENCROACHMENT, 
OR
NEUTRAL ZONE INFRACTION

 

 

 

   

encroachment-off-sides-nfl-infraction

 

 

 

 

Each team must be lined up on their line of scrimmage and cannot be lined up in the neutral zone when the ball is snapped. The neutral zone is the area between the front and back of the ball.

 

Stealthily sneaking up when food is nearby.

Sleeping between pillow and headboard, pushing my head down to make room for her position on the pillow.

When my husband is sleeping on his tummy,  Jenny sneaks up onto the bed and sleeps on his back

==========

betsy-betsy

This is a photo of Betsy when she was a puppy.  It was about a month after this photo was taken that she jumped into the jacuzzi and swam to the other side.  She also knocked over the recliner and in the process had broken a valuable antique figurine.

abby-rose-modified-brighter

 

 

The photo above is Abby.  When Jenny was a puppy, she would  aggravate Abby to no end!  She was constantly pulling on her lips and then would jump up and grab Abby’s fur and hang from her chest.  

Michelle

 

 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

 

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Responses

  1. Your site is one that I’ve had bookmarked for about six months. You have one of the best political blogs on the net. Today when I got the notice about your newest post, I almost didn’t read it since it was listed under the heading of sports. You always surprise me with the things you write. Not only are your posts always right on target, but the ones on topics other than politics are equally good. Actually, some of them cause me to laugh out loud. This one today on the NFL Infractions was one such post. It was great. Where you get your ideas I have no idea. All I am sure of is that you are one sharp cookie!

  2. I just love your comparisons. They are just so adorable. They are quirky, adorable and down right funny. Keep it up. That’s what we need from time to time, more of the positive of life and the joy and humor that can easily be expressed.

  3. Her turtle hat is simply lovely. Does she ever make it to the penalty box? 🙂


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